Day 11: Going Without Knowing

This largely unedited free-write is linking up with the annual Write 31 Days Challenge. // indicates the start and stop of five minutes. The prompt word for today is UNKNOWN. Go!

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//  I remember it like it was yesterday. Honey, I was fru-strat-ed! Grumpy is an understatement.

It was at the end of a series of mid-winter meetings at church, and everyone had gone home―that is, except for the last of the worship team. Us. We were tired, we were empty, and we needed help. So, we asked the guest preacher to pray for us. He’s such a wonderful man so, of course, he agreed.

He started by asking me what I needed from God, so I began to tell him about my frustrations… stressful job, stressful finances, Erwin working part-time at two different places, grumpy, angry, hopeless, irritated. You get the picture.

Then, he surprised us by asking how long we’d been married. Huh? Two and a half years.

Silence. Listening. Then he said something that made me want to freak out. He said, “Oh, Jesus, no!”

What? Are you kidding me? That’s the last thing I wanna hear when someone is listening to God on my behalf… more bad news? What does that mean? Is he gonna start pointing out my sin now? Oh my gosh, I can’t take any more stress… I need to get outta here. NOW!  

But he continued before I could run, and he said,

“You are really going to think I’m from another planet now, and I NEVER say this to people…

“God wants you to know that ‘You have a Mother’s heart and your Mother’s heart is grieved because you don’t have children yet.’”

Gasp… dead silence. You could’ve knocked me over with a feather. // Did I just hear correctly? The magnitude of what he had just said hit me hard.

You see, it was true… but not for the reasons you are imagining.

• We weren’t having trouble with infertility. Nothing as serious as that.
• We had simply delayed having children because we didn’t have our 5 YEAR PLAN together.
• We didn’t have our ducks in a row yet.
• In hindsight, I can actually admit that we delayed because we didn’t REALLY trust that God would take care of us.

Ouch.

We had been carrying the weight of taking care of ourselves. We couldn’t see the future, and we couldn’t see how we’d make it at this pace. We weren’t from wealthy families; we were Bible College graduates, and we were working our butts off to compete with the other couples around us. But it was killing us!

Then this precious man prayed for us and spoke God’s heart toward us.

“Have I not told you that I will provide? Have I not promised that I would take care of you?”

It was what Oprah would call my ‘AH-HA Moment.’ I suddenly realized that I had been carrying around a weight of responsibility that wasn’t mine to carry. I believed a warped version of God and His heart toward me.

It was a landmark day!

Life began to change for me that day. Little by little, that warped view of God was replaced with a deep confidence that God’s Word for me is true! Thank goodness, or we would’ve NEVER risked everything and moved our little family across the planet to Jeffreys Bay, South Africa!

That’s the amazing thing about faith. It simply means to HEAR and OBEY. No one ever said you have to UNDERSTAND too. (I usually find that the understanding comes later.)

Hebrews 11:9 says it this way,

“By faith Abraham, when he was called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.”

Yes, it can be stressful, for sure. But how else can we really understand that He will NEVER leave or forsake us! Four kids and more than twenty years later, I can truly say that “I have never seen the righteous forsaken.”

So, my friend, what are the ‘unknowns’ that are on your plate right now?

• Is God asking you to have another child? Or maybe He’s giving you a burning desire to adopt?
• Is He prompting you to change jobs? Or scarier yet, quit your job?
• Is He leading you to homeschool? Or perhaps, like me, He’s challenging you to put your kids in public school?

No matter what the issues are, don’t let your lack of understanding stop you from obeying what He’s asking you to do. His plans for us are ALWAYS infinitely better than anything we can dream or imagine!

We don’t need to know the future before we make decisions. We just need to know WHO holds the future! Our faithful Father is MORE THAN ABLE to get you to your purpose and destiny!

It’s ok, my friend, you can trust Him with your ‘unknowns.’

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To read more of 31 Days of Mom Awesomeness, click here.

For more information on the Write 31 Days challenge, check out Christina Hubbard’s site!