Day 13: Cut Yourself Some Slack

This largely unedited free-write is linking up with the Write 31 Days Challenge. // indicates the start and stop of five minutes. The prompt word for today is AWARE. Go!

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Haha! I just had a good giggle. As I prepare each day to write on the various word prompts, I often do a little research… Scripture verses, definitions, synonyms, antonyms, and even famous quotes.

Today, I decided to look up antonyms for the prompt word “Aware.” Get ready. This is how Vocabulary.com defined the word “unaware” (it looks like their writers are enjoying their jobs)…

• Unaware is simply the opposite of “aware.” If you are unaware, you have no idea what’s going on.
• To be unaware is to be totally incognizant (but not incontinent).
• To be “caught unawares” means you were caught off guard or by surprise. Either way, you’ve got your head in the clouds about something.
• Now some people might say that ignorance is bliss, but the guy in the crosswalk who was unaware of the bus barreling down on him at full speed might disagree.

And their synonym choices included: oblivious, unconscious, and asleep.

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// So, here we go…

Oh, how we as SuperMoms can ALL relate to this. Can I get a shout out from all the moms who have ever tried to function in a state of partial or complete sleep deprivation?

No joke. It’s amazing what we are capable of accomplishing, despite the fact that we are completely and utterly exhausted. I’m sure you have a few stories to tell, don’t you?

Here are some of my not-so-brilliant sleep-deprived moments.

• I remember telling my husband “Oh, you can’t park there, it’s HANDI-WIPED.
• I also told him, “Honey, can you please go out and CUT THE CARPET?”  He was like, “Suuuuure, I’ll get right on that.”
• I remember telling him that “Supper is ready. Go sit on the machine.”

Yeah, a lot of my funny moments involve not being able to speak coherently.

• I also remember losing my wedding rings for about 2 weeks and going CRAZY trying to find them. I eventually found them in the box with the sunscreen.
• I remember putting my keys in the fridge.
• I remember putting my phone in the fridge.
• I remember another friend of mine putting a dirty diaper in their fridge (gross).
• I remember almost walking outside without my pants on.
• I remember answering the door for a courier without my shirt buttoned up. (Oh heck, I’m still blushing. Poor guy.) //

Those are all quite funny, and worth a giggle or two. But my worst moment of sleep deprivation was when I accidentally overdosed my son on Infant Tylenol. (I know, I know… Brutal Parenting 101.) Here’s what happened…

My Worst Sleep-Deprived Disaster

The whole family had been sick with the flu for about three days and nights. I had been without sleep almost the whole time. Vomiting, fevers, and general sucky-ness were the most obvious symptoms.

1. On the night in question, it was about 2 am, and Joshua was still running a high fever. I read and re-read the bottle… squinted my eyes… shook my head to clear the fog… and then tried to read it again. Math (I’m usually good at math). Jesus, help. How heavy is he? Can’t add right; can’t see straight. Long story short―misread the bottle. Bad mom… guilt…

But wait… it gets worse.

2. When I lay my head on the pillow and started re-calculating my math, I realized my mistake. The adrenalin hit us both like a truck. We immediately called Grandma who came over to watch the kids while we made an urgent trip to the Emergency Room. Have you ever watched a baby have his stomach pumped? It’s awful. They shove a tube down baby’s throat and pump their stomach full of black charcoal. It’s such a traumatic procedure that the nurses sent me to the waiting room so I wouldn’t have to watch.

But wait… it gets worse.

3. Then the nurse (what was she thinking?) brought him out to us in the waiting room. Little tear-streaked face, black edged mouth, cuddled into his daddy’s shoulder. My heart was breaking. So sad… so much guilt… No sooner had she left than he started vomiting black charcoal ALL OVER THE WAITING ROOM.

But wait… it gets worse.

4. We didn’t know this was supposed to happen. So, my sleep-deprived husband who also wasn’t thinking clearly panicked and started running down the hall with this vomiting baby to flag the nurse. There was now a trail of black charcoal ALL the way from the waiting room to the nurse’s station, splattered on the backs of chairs, up the walls, all over the floor, and on a few waiting patients. Gross!

But wait… it gets worse.

5. We eventually got home, lay our exhausted baby back into his crib, and collapsed into our beds. Thankfully, Grandma stayed at our house and allowed us to sleep for a few hours. When I finally woke up and started telling her the details of the night before, we re-calculated the math. Guess what? (oh, I don’t even want to say it out loud) I HADN’T MISCALCULATED AT ALL. Cringe…

I had been soooo sleep-deprived that I just made my baby get his stomach pumped for NOTHING. I can’t even begin to tell you how embarrassed and ashamed I felt. Definitely NOT the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree that year.

So, why am I telling you all of this? It’s simple. Sometimes you’ve just got to

Being a Mom is HARD WORK! And there will be times when, despite your best intentions, it will be impossible to be FULLY AWARE and fully-functional.

But it’s in those moments that we need to cry out, “Grace, Grace!” and let Father wash us with His presence.

• Stop the self-deprecating thoughts.
• Take a deep breath.
• Put on some worship music.
• Lay down on the floor―let the kids crawl on / cuddle with you.
• And then let Holy Spirit come and wash away the dust.

Although we may be occasionally unaware of some things (like where we left our keys AGAIN), He has made us HIGHLY AWARE of many other things. Like when they need love | Like when they are lying | Like when they feel insecure or afraid | Like when they need discipline | Like when they are hungry for praise and affirmation.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Father, help us to be highly aware of the truly important things in life!

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To read more of 31 Days of Mom Awesomeness, click here.

For more information on the Write 31 Days challenge, check out Christina Hubbard’s site!