This largely unedited free-write is linking up with the Write 31 Days Challenge. // indicates the start and stop of five minutes. The prompt word for today is BOUQUET. Go!
// The first time he said it, I thought he was crazy. There is NO way I’m going to do that. Tensions were high, and emotions were raw. The room was charged with unsaid irritation.
Have I mentioned that Erwin and I met in Bible College while we were studying music and theology? Part of our training was to travel every weekend for ministry with a group of 30+ other students.
You’ve probably heard the phrase that says, “The family that prays together, stays together.” Well, there’s a lesser known phrase that says, “The family that travels together fights like hell.” As with any other traveling family, this family had reached its limit.
So on this particular day, our director had had enough. As soon as the service had ended, lunch eaten, and the bus packed up, he sat us in a circle of chairs with one lone chair in the middle. The goal = to go one-by-one around the group and tell the other members of your ‘family’ WHAT YOU VALUE ABOUT THEM. No criticisms. No sarcasm. JUST PRAISE.
He called it “GIVING BOUQUETS OF WORDS,” and I can’t remember who had to go first, but we each had to do it.
One by one, each of us had to sit on the hot seat.
One by one, each of us had to receive the praise of our peers.
One by one, thoughts and perspectives began to change.
One by one, hearts began to turn.
One by one, friendships began to be restored.
One by one, family began to heal. //
It was miraculous how quickly the atmosphere changed that day. What? She really said that about me? I thought she didn’t like me. Seriously, he likes how I do that? Really, he likes that about me?
EVERYTHING CHANGED, and quickly!
Blaak Family Values
So when we got married, Erwin and I brought this brilliant little life-skill into our family. When tensions run high, and the kids can only see the negative things around them, we bring out the hot seat.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… kids only know what they know.
So, if you want them to know
- how to SPEAK WORDS OF LIFE to others,
- and how to RECEIVE WORDS OF LIFE (an equally difficult skill to learn)
this is a beautiful way to teach and model it.
Do it regularly. Do it often. It will do a world of good for their hearts and minds, and the atmosphere in your home will change!Beautiful 'Bouquets of Words'… No criticism, no sarcasm. Just praise! Click To Tweet
To read more of 31 Days of Mom Awesomeness, click here.
For more information on the Write 31 Days challenge, check out Christina Hubbard’s site!