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Speak to be Understood

The Communication Secret that will Save Your Sanity

Speak to be Understood

//  “Oooooh, he is sooo irritating! Came home grumpy AGAIN! That’s the third time this week. I don’t even understand what’s wrong. And he always makes me feel like it’s MY fault. Mine? What did I do this time? It’s like we’re speaking two different languages.”

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard statements like these, I would be a very wealthy woman.

No, I’m not quoting anyone in particular. These words are a culmination of many people that I’ve run into over the years: friends, church people, parents at school, shoppers at the mall, people on Facebook, actors on television or movies. You know how it goes. Miscommunication is an epidemic. All you have to do is watch Netflix for a while, and you’ll find dozen of examples.

BUT WHY?

Why is it soooo difficult to understand what other people are saying? Why is it so easy to misunderstand your spouse, kids, parents, friends, coworkers… or anyone, for that matter?

WHY DON’T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ME? Don’t they know my heart?  That’s not what I’m trying to say. I don’t even think that. Why would I say it? I so don’t understand her. Did you hear what she said? I’m so offended. I can’t even… //

Well, my friends, if any of these words have escaped your lips at one time or another, know that you are not alone. We’ve ALL felt that way at some point.

Communication is a challenging thing.

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Collect Words of Life, Not Criticism

//  The BEST part of moving houses, or cities, or nations is that you get rid of the old and start fresh. Garage sales, yard sales, rummage sales, although painful at times are brilliant for reducing clutter.

Minimal mess. Minimal clutter. Minimal packing.

But what about our emotional, mental, and psychological baggage? How do we manage that kind of clutter after years of collecting life experiences?

This season has been harder than I expected. Little did I know that when I pressed ‘publish’ on my book, I would be pressing GO on a roller coaster of emotional turbulence.

  • Insecurity? Haven’t dealt with that in years, but here we go!
  • Comparison? Oh, my goodness, where did that come from?
  • Second-guessing myself? Stop this ride—I wanna get off now.

There’s a verse in the Bible that speaks about God sending His Word and then TESTING that Word (check out Psalm 105:19). I think that’s what’s been happening here. You see, whenever we allow God to use us to deliver something important, WE get tested in it first.    Read more

Worthy: Not Even Oprah Can You Make You Feel This Good

//  I wandered around the room feeling a bit like Oprah. Microphone in hand, and looking for the first volunteer to speak.

But the room was quiet, so quiet. Was anyone listening? Had I communicated clearly? God, You need to do this.”

The mood was set, the message delivered. I knew that Holy Spirit was working deep things into the hearts and souls of these precious women.

But it was so quiet.

I felt Father say, “Shhhhh, just wait.”

So I walked. And prayed. I could hear sniffles and quiet weeping.

“Father, speak to Your girls. They need to hear what You say about them. Erase the lies. Speak truth.”

The lights were dimmed, soft music coming from the keyboard, and Holy Spirit was working.

Don’t rush. Old labels were being removed, and new identities were being spoken.

Then one hand went up. What she said was like refreshing rain to a dry ground and unlocked a wave of hope throughout the room.     Read more