The ceiling stared back at me in silent horror. Afraid to sleep, afraid to speak, barely able to breathe.
“Why doesn’t the phone ring? What is taking so long?”
It was a parent’s worst nightmare. Unexplainable illness, uncontrollable vomiting, unconscious child. As the seconds painfully tick by, we lay there, fully clothed, bags packed, ready to jump into the car as soon as the insurance company says “go.” 10pm… 11pm… 12am… 1am… 2am… It was enough to drive anyone stark raving mad.
“Oh God, help! Save our boy! Please, Jesus! Don’t let him die.”
https://i1.wp.com/blaaklistwriters.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/IMG_2147.jpg?fit=2272%2C162816282272Shauna Blaakhttp://blaaklistwriters.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/logo-really-long-2-1-300x75.jpgShauna Blaak2016-12-20 18:17:522016-12-20 20:07:09Anniversary of a Christmas Miracle
If I was going to be honest, I’d say that I don’t really like my “Now” this week. Now hasn’t been fun. It hasn’t been filled with “Let’s go party now,” or “Let’s go out now!”
No, our NOW has been filled with more emotion than I know what to do with. “Guys, its time to pack your bags now.” “Honey, can you load the trailer now?” “Josh… I’m so sorry, Honey. It’s time to go now.”
I would love to go back to the Christmases of ‘years gone by’ when the urgency was only “Come, guys! Let’s make some shortbread now!” Or “Gotta wrap the presents now.” Or “It’s time to straighten up the house… company is coming now!”
What I wouldn’t give to go back to those days of scattered toys, constant noise, and sibling drama.
Have you ever felt that joy is simply escaping you? I mean, in this season that should fill you with warm fuzzy feelings, are you ready to hit the “eject” button? Let’s be honest, sometimes circumstances just suck.
I’m there right now. “Joy to the World” …whatever.
I wish there was someone who could help me walk this journey with courage and grace. I don’t want a pat on the back with an “Agh, shame. I’m so sorry for you,” and I don’t want to hear how grateful I should be.
What I want is a TO-DO list. I NEED SOMETHING TO DO so that I get out of bed in the morning and change the atmosphere in my home. I don’t need pity; I need a solution. I need help. I want someone to come alongside me and say
“You’re right, this totally sucks. This is how I survived when it happened to me.”
So in the void of such practical advice, here’s what I’m DOING to survive the joy-stealers this Christmas. If you are also struggling with the impending holiday, I hope my to-do list will help you!